Under Pressure

Last week, I took a shower.

In the 13 minutes that I was in the bathroom, four of my five children had to use the toilet. (Side note: one of them isn't even potty trained.) As you can imagine, these statistics are slightly on the ridiculous side, even for a large family.

Worse than that, every time someone flushes a toilet/turns on a faucet/looks at a glass of water on the counter, the water pressure drops to "trickle".

The timing of the children's bathroom visits were particularly inconvenient, as I was trying to do monumental things in the shower like: wash my face with soap and rinse shampoo out of my hair.

 

New Rule: All offspring are required to go to the bathroom just before Mommy takes her morning shower...like I require them to do before we leave the house to go anywhere. It is THAT important.

 

Note to reader: I have tried waking up extra early to take a shower before they arise. But I think they hear the shower turn on and it reminds them that they have bladders and need to empty them RIGHT NOW, WITHOUT WAITING ANY LONGER, OR THEY MIGHT PASS OUT!

 

And, moving on...

 

This time of year, we get sick.

Really sick.

For weeks on end.

This year has been no exception. We started with colds a few weeks ago and the bug has morphed several times, but the result is the same: crazy, cooped-up children.

Also, the weather out here in cow country has been INSANE. With the temperature dropping to -16, before wind-chill, it has been impossible to take the children outside.

We are grateful for the new house during these days. Each child can go in a separate room when they need space and they can run laps to their hearts' content.

 

Big things that have happened recently:



This little man turned 5!



And decided he no longer needs me.

I made my first cookie cake, with large amounts of help from the minions.
Ice up, Danny Wegman, I'm coming for you.

I need a TON of sleep. One day last week, I laid Esther down for a nap and I told the children that we were all going to read books for a bit. I sat down on the couch with a book and the boys and fell asleep before the first page was finished. When I woke up, this is what I found.
Esther woke up, Sarah brought her downstairs and fed her lunch.
Sarah also emptied out the dishwasher and drew me a portrait of Saint Therese.
I don't know when she turned 40...must have been while I was sleeping.

This happened. Once. In one week.

Uncle Fran gave us all his old popsicle sticks. We've been having a blast!!!!

The old farmhouse, she cleans up nice for a party.

I truly believed that my first project in the new house would be putting in a new chandelier.
Priorities.

SuperDad went out and bought two more air mattresses for Tommy's birthday night. We had a family sleepover and watched Star Wars, sort of...since we "past-forward" through all the scary parts, the movie is approximately 15 minutes long.
It was awesome.

The children had an art assignment this past week: A crayon drawing of what they thought Heaven looks like.
This is Nathan's drawing.
When I asked him to explain his drawing, he said "You said to draw Kevin. There he is."
If I ever assumed my three-year-old heard what I really said...

I drink a lot of water. I have water bottles throughout the house to remind me to continue drinking.
My children have a tremendous amount of "Schwalm" in them and cannot resist the opportunity to make me scream.
Grandma Schwalm, I do not know how you still have such beautiful hair...I am missing patches of mine.
That is all.

"I didn't sleep more than 3 hours last night, but look how cute I am in this hat."

"I'm number Six!"

My new OB asked me if I was really married to the guy that keeps getting me pregnant.

She is pretending. She only did HALF that page.

Soooooo...I won't be writing that parenting book anytime soon.

And All Is Well

It is 6:33. There are no noises coming from the upstairs. No footsteps. No fighting. No Legos being thrown down the steps as sound effects for a disturbing game that the children play.

 

Counting my blessings, right here, right now.

 

I am going to start off with the Lego Creation of the Week up in this joint!

 

"Mom! Come see Liquor Land!"
 

"This is the lady buying her beer at the counter where they give free samples out."

"Look how happy she is! And that rat, he guards the man who sells the liquor!"



"They sell beer and wine...and lots of it!"

Mom's note: There is an added vendor outside Liquor Land, selling fruit to people who don't want to drink on an empty stomach.
Its a storm trooper.
 With an apple.


Oooooooookkkkkkkkk, says I.
Children, my little friends, can we talk?
What is this all about? Have you ever SEEN a liquor store?
They respond with a jubilant "YES!"
I'm scanning my brain history, under files that begin with "the time I took my children to buy alcohol"...
Nope. Nothing.

"When Dad goes in to get wine for you and we wait in the car with you! You know!"

Ahhhhhhh....Yes, I know. That was a hard day.

Note to self: my children are always paying attention, so I will back-in to the parking space next time at the liquor store.


 

Next, this pregnancy has been one of my sickest yet, besides Sarah's (which is a record I hope to never beat). After our miscarriage in the fall, I don't think anything could make me quite as thankful as a good bout of morning sickness. The children pray, at each meal, for their siblings in Heaven and the one in Mom's tummy that is making her so so so so so sick. Thank you, babies.
Perspective.

 

This is the first time in many years that we haven't had the discussion: "Where will we put the new baby?" Plenty of space in the new house for a new little Pernot. Such a blessing.

 

Thomas has joined me at my perch here in the kitchen and is trying to persuade a distracted Anne to allow him to bring his electric trains in the back yard to set up a layout big enough for the whole family to enjoy. Time to go and be a mom.

Cheaper by the (half)Dozen

All the Things We Miss

The children were talking yesterday about all they miss about Rochester. It was the normal things that I expected: family, friends, Church, Chili Wegmans. You know, the things that shape our personhood.

 

I was not prepared for what came next.

 

Thomas: "I miss trains. That's what I miss."

Joseph: "You love trains more than you love people!"

Thomas, no pause: "Yup. The only-er thing I like better than trains is God. That's all."

 

Saint Thomas, patron of steam engines

 

Sillies

Making cookies this Christmas was a hoot. Esther just didn't understand that this was not Play-Doh, so she wasn't able to eat it. Oh Wait.

Slightly less salty than my favorite pastime.

 This is Esther's favorite place in the house. She sits on this step and bosses everyone around. If she slaps the floor next to her and demands you sit with her, you know you have been given an extreme privilege. I'm still waiting for my first invitation. Matt gets invited daily.

 The breakfast nook...where all good milk and secrets are spilled. If I sit close enough, I hear confessions from the previous day. Like, who tried to flush the package of wipes down the toilet and who drew "Thomas" on the back stairwell. It is like a cafeteria table, except more awesome because you can wear your pjs.

Cookies for S.C.

Can you tell which children are "morning people"?

Putting baby Jesus in the manger

This was, by far, the best Christmas gift. Sarah has been asking for Molly for a few years now. It felt so good to be able to get it for her this year. It was a gift from all of her siblings and Matt and I. I don't know who was more excited: All of us, watching her open it or Sarah, finding out that her dream finally came true.

Finally got the glasses fixed. We desperately need to find an eye doctor at the new house. Driving back to Rochester to get these things readjusted just doesn't work out anymore.

"Hey Mom! I CAN see again!"
 Insert extreme amounts of Mommy guilt here.

Just Love

Holidays

Matt has christened this year to be The Year of the Pernot, meaning that it has GOT TO BE better than 2013 was for our family.

 

We are beginning this year with a great deal of change already. My parents are moving to New Jersey with my two youngest siblings, Ellen and Mark. Matt's sister, Jill, and her husband, Greg, are also relocating...to North Carolina. This Christmas season was full of goodbyes and parties and traveling back and forth to Rochester. It was an incredibly emotional time and I do not know how long it will take our family to adjust to the "new norm", but we've learned a lot since Matt lost his job at GM. Mainly, that God has a plan...and it is always for our own good. We just have to let go and trust that God is God.

Hard lesson.

 

 

We are slowly adjusting to our new home. Some of us have adapted more quickly than others. It was so wonderful to be able to have our first Christmas in our new home. Matt's family came out on Christmas Eve for the Feast of the Seven Fish, which went swimmingly. His parents stayed overnight so they could witness the insanity of Christmas morning. It was very special.

 

Joseph is most difficult to get a good picture of. When surveying the finished product, I know I only need look for his face: Are his eyes open? Then I will take it!

I couldn't get the boys to accept the fact that they were having a marvelous time sitting there, smiling. 

Oh Esther. She kept running away and REFUSED to smile. At all. Not even a smirk. I have at least 50 pictures of Esther screaming and beet red during this particular shoot.

 

One Hundred Twenty-Six Christmas pictures that pretty much look just like this one.

Esther was a peach.

 

 

Then I jumped out from behind the wall.

 

The things I do for a good picture.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!